OK. Listen up. This is important.

Every year the vegan rodeo girls hold this lesbian fetish rodeo, Rowdy Roundup. And it's always protested by those religious meat eaters led by the charismatic Divan. That's the cult leader's name, Divan. That would be fine except that this year something unexpected happened. Stevi-Lyn, that levitating TV celebrity, was in town for the rodeo to sell her healing power crystals. And what happened? A big, evil meteor fell on Chiggers pinata truck. And that changed everything. Those power crystals got into the pinatas and started radiating negative energy. Every time a pinata was nearby, people started acting weird. All their worst traits came out. Everyone's bad side was amplified. It didn't take a genius to figure out conflict and heartbreak were right around the corner.

And there you go.